Living in a Cloud

lying to lady luck.

2012-01-20T04:40:00.000-08:00

Sooooo, the Lunar New Year isn't even here yet, but I've already gone through half the box of fortune cookies my mom bought and I reckon the "fortunes" don't really work if you open a dozen of them at one go... or do they?

Also, I suppose it compensates for my lack of fortune from last year. What happened was, I was at Ching's house and all of us were given a fortune cookie each, we opened them one by one and my cookie was EMPTY!!! wtf.

Now this is me, being the skeptic that I am:

The cookie is like a con artist. It knows how to tell you what you want to hear. Who doesn't want good health and to be surrounded by luxury? Also, does this include mental health? Cause I think that's the department I'm lacking comfort in.

That's called "karma".

Eh eh eh soooooo not true. Me no likey confrontations. Also, this isn't a fortune! This is a wild guess of character!

But if I'm expecting the unexpected, doesn't that make the unexpected, expected?

But business moguls will tell you that it's a bad idea to build businesses with friends! Or was it the other way around? I forget. Business Pre-U was too long ago... But grammar remains! Shouldn't it be "businesses"? #grammanazi

This one got me a little paranoid.

Had I been in a maze all this while and yet was fully oblivious of it all?

Perhaps...

If it came twice, it must be true!

Haha yeah, right.

Awwww. That's sweet. You flatter too much. Thank you.

Because I'm admired for my adventurous ways, right? I know.

Now, WHO WANTS TO GO ON A ROADTRIP?!

And then I felt a mild tinge of guilt for eating all the cookies, so I gave one to Irfan.

And ironically enough, I think he got the best one.

Happy Lunar New Year!

Regardless of whether you're actually celebrating or not. May the year of the dragon bring you and your loved ones lots of joy, prosperity, good health and success.

On the 1st of January I was talking to a friend and the papers had a giant dragon on the cover and he said "it's a sign!" (cause he's got a thing for dragons, you see) and I suppose if you're reading this and are waiting for a sign for whatever it is you're looking for, this really could be it.

feeling mildly inspired.

2012-01-12T13:51:00.000-08:00

Meet my new baby.

And no, this isn't supposed to be some super artsy photo or anything.

It's just a normal picture of my new cameraaaa.

So sometimes, when you're stuck in the same place and do the same thing every day, you find yourself in a little mundane rut and don't particularly know what to do about it - nor do you particularly feel like doing anything about it - so you end up doing mindless things - like watching crappy movies, listening to crappy music, playing crappy games on your phone and talking to crappy people - all in foolishly vain hope that the uninspiring glaze of boredom will eventually disappear.

Obviously that doesn't always work.

So sometimes you need to hop onto a bus, flee the country, make compulsive purchases, drink lots of good coffee, and spend time with seasonal friends just so you can find yourself bursting with ideas at 6am.

love is annoying.

2012-01-12T13:26:00.000-08:00

And I say that as I listen to Regina Spektor's Us.

Just so I can add a tinge of hypocrisy to this rant.

But love truly is annoying - in my opinion at the very least.

It surrounds us, it drowns us, it dominates our thoughts.

It's the reason boy bands from the 90s still get royalty cheques.

And if you're anything like me - happily single, that is, or single by choice - you can understand how irritating it can get when people rub it onto our faces against our will.

Aside from the obvious - long lost relatives asking why you don't have a boyfriend, your mother accusing every guy friend of being your latest squeeze, etc - there seems to be no escaping the damn topic!

If one of your friends/colleagues/siblings isn't gushing over someone they found attractive, it's about someone who just broke their heart. Either that, or someone you know is about to get hitched.

It gets worse if you work/listen to mainstream radio. If the song isn't about sex, drugs or murder (I'm talking about you, Foster the People!), it's about frickin' love love love! That's why Ne-Yo kept asking himself why he couldn't turn off the radio when he was heartbroken. (I'm even making mainstream references now. Wow.)

Full shelves of chick lit, sold out chick flicks.

And after the sappy confrontation, I can't help but wonder:

Am I actually missing out on something here?

too much to think about.

2011-12-10T14:41:00.000-08:00

feeling special then being reminded that you're not

not feeling special then being reminded that you are

just a little thank you.

2011-12-05T10:23:00.000-08:00

The 6th of December marks exactly one year since I started going on-air full time on Fly FM. I won the job back in November last year and despite all the drama and the angry tweets, I actually am grateful and I know I wouldn't be where I am if it weren't for the people who have found their way into my life in the last year. Here's a list of them, to name a few.

Jules.

To be perfectly honest, until today I'm not extremely close to Jules but she's been there since the beginning. She was at the audition - asking me about Roald Dahl and collar bones and my name. She was the one who called me when I was in my college library to tell me that I was in the top five which led to me screaming in excitement in the stairwell. Throughout the two weeks of the competition it was her who would send encouraging texts and tell me not to fuss at photoshoots and when I went for my first major event, it was her who showed me around. And that's the type of kindness one never forgets.

Ben Jern.

Ben was my mentor throughout Flydol and even after I'd won, he was constantly volunteering advice I think I would never have learnt from anyone else. He's one of the most considerate people around. When first I had to go on air alone because Hafiz was on leave, he would call to tell me what he thought sounded like a good idea and what I can improve on. When I got my new timeslot, he spoke to me about bubble tea and about life. I've never had to ask him anything. He just knows what to teach when.

Adam Robot.

Adam's starting to feel a whole lot more like a parent than a boss. But more than anything, he is a great friend. I'm like a rebellious child that's constantly finding herself in trouble and Adam always seems to be saving my butt and getting me out of it all. He listens to me rant and whine and tell irrelevant stories of boys with tattoos and in return he's unapologetic whenever he says something tactless. Me sayang Adam forevahhhh.

Cindy & Zack.
(but me no have peekcha of Zack)

They worked really hard on all the videos we used to do for tonton.com.my. I don't know how many times Cindy has had to wake me up because I was late for something. Thank you, Cindyyy!

Ally.

Allison is an marketing supergenius. And is super efficient at everything. It's my procrastination that ruins her flow of perfection and if it weren't for her, I wouldn't have my current writing gigs. When she's not preoccupied at work, she's one of the best people to gossip with.

Random Gingerbread Man!

Obviously I've never worked with the dude. It's just that this candy store mascot really made me happy on one of those days when I was just running on sugar and coffee.

Akmal Kurniawan.

My bodyguard at events!

Creeps, beware!

Popo.

My midnight buddy. Popo's a ghost. He knows everything.

Keithosaurus.

Aside from giving superbearhugs and wearing matchy stripey clothes, Keithosaurus likes to share candy with me and tells me how to say the things I'm supposed to say especially on my stupid days. He laughs at the stupid things that happen in my life so that I feel better about my tragedies. Keithosaurus is awesome and is a real dinosaur.

Guibo.

I'm just thankful for Guibo because he's always been kind and sincere. And it's nice to have someone in the company who started off at more or less the same time you did.

Hunny.

Hunny gives great advice on how one should behave. And if it weren't for her, I wouldn't have had the chance to host David Choi's gig in KL. She's always got encouraging to say, regardless of whether it's about radio or about dealing with other people or about life. There's just so much to admire and so much to learn from just by observing her. Hunny sees thing in a different light and makes you realise things you may not have noticed earlier.

Sheila & Jo.

Sri Lanka travel buddies! Sheila is super fun when she's on happy juice and Jo is nice to gossip with. Hehe. And Jo's also the bestest pannellerrrr in the whole wide world! Once, someone in the office said something a little nasty to me and Jo pulled me aside and told me not to let her talk like that. It's always comforting to know other people notice these things too.

Laila.

She gives mega cuddles and always tells me I look pretty when she thinks I'm wearing something nice. It's the little things that count too.

Premo Supremo.

All the radio-related quotes I know, I learnt from Prem. I was even quizzed on them once. He taught me the controls and how to panel and he sends me super big-brotherly texts ever so often. He's super generous when it comes to saying comforting things and it always feels like he's watching over me (and he doesn't just watch me alone - he looks after everyone!). He makes Fly really feel like family.

Ahong & Helmi.

Okay so technically they don't work for Fly FM, but they do work for the same company. I think these two were my first real kawans in the place aside from the immediate people I worked with. They've invited me to burgers and events and have been an infinite source of laughter. If they hung out with each other any more, the two of them would be joined at the hip.

Phat Fabes.

Fabes is always warm and giggly whenever I meet him. And he's had so much experience that every time I listen to him speak, I feel like I learn a little something new. It's such a great vibe.

Kara Possum.

She nags.

Zhi Vern.

He nags too.

But Zhi Vern and Kara are practically my siblings now so there isn't a need for a long explanation. Kara's name is Small Tot/Possum and Zhi Vern is known as Bro because he really is The Bro. Don't mess with me or you'll be slaughtered by either one of these two. Muahaha.

Also, Kara's in love with a ghost and Zhi Vern is an auntie trapped in a buff body. If it weren't for these two, I think I'd have gone completely mad.

Nadia Mishmore.

Nadia is my makan buddy, gossip buddy, and did I say makan buddy? Omggg we ate crabs by ourselves without the rest in Sri Lanka. Nadia doesn't exaggerate (which is always comforting) and she's very honest so when you listen to her tell the stories she tells, you feel so much better because Nadia proves that you can be quirky and yet accomplish so much.

Sissymon Simonsta.

If you see me tweet things like "Jororo" or "Beebies" or "betraitor" or other words you've never heard of, it's Simon's fault. He's an evil genius disguised as a little boy from Klang (or so he says). To understand Simon, you must meet him and then be in awe of his brilliance.

Zher Peeeeeen.

Zher is amazing. She too is like this big sister I never had. We've been on a roadtrip to Singapore and she tells me stories and teaches me how to treat d-bags and she baked me a cake for my birthday! I cannot even begin to thank her for everything nor explain to you why she is awesome. Just know that I love her sho muchhh.

and of course, the person I'm eternally in debt to is
Papa Bear.

things i learnt last weekend.

2011-11-23T13:10:00.000-08:00

1. D-bags come from all over the world.
But non-offensive jokes aren't as funny.

2. Back Home by Gym Class Heroes featuring Neon Hitch is the best thing I've heard all month.

3. Ho Lee Ching will always be my best friend.

Back in my old blog, I had a label called The Adventures of Ching and Dee and for good reason. I think it's safe to say she's witnessed every major event in my life and had something to do with most of the dumbfeck things I did as a teenager (we used to throw popcorn at people and screw things up and fall down a lot).

But last year has been a little bumpy. The procrastinating perfectionist has spent most of 2011 locked up in her room writing assignments and losing an abundance of weight in the process and I've been travelling the region with Julian and Cheryl. It also doesn't help that I've been a beetch to her (I don't deal with change very well, you see).

But on Sunday we roamed the streets of KL in the middle of the night and it felt like old times, which leads to my next lesson.

4. You can know someone for years and yet not know that person.

and

5. Sometimes you meet people for the first time and you feel like you've known them forever.

Now here's the thing about my friend Ariel:
he lives in the past but speaks in the present.

And by "living in the past" I don't mean that he dwells on things that will never happen again; it's just that Ariel is the kind of friend I see only once, at the most twice, a year. So on Sunday, Ariel came to KL with his girl Mai (who has super gorgeous hair, by the way) and he spoke about the things that happened back in 2009 and 2010 (back when he once called me "the girl from Malaysia") as if they happened just yesterday. He talks about our mutual friends as if with the assumption I saw them just hours earlier and mocks me about things I'd already forgotten about. It was strangely comforting really, knowing that I have friends out there that I can just sorta *click* with and that, as narcissistic as this may sound, I have witnesses to prove that the insane experiences I have committed to memory are not just mere figments of my imagination.

Ariel also asked if I was going back to Manila in December, almost as if Manila is my kampung and is as close as Singapore or Penang. If onlyyyyy! Cause I supalove it there (but that's a post for another day).

Then the awkward bit came when Ariel asked:
"You sure you're okay with hanging out tonight?
Don't you need to work in the morning?"

And so I said:
"Nawh, don't worry about it!
I work nights, anyway."

And then he said:
"Oh. Do you work in a call centre?"

And I'm like:
"Wha...? Ohhhh.
You don't know what I do."

And he said no, because the friend I know him through never told him and until today, I find it very strange to have to explain to long lost friends and strangers what it is I do for a living. And then it turns out that Mai is a supervisor at a call centre so that was a funny little twist.

Then we ate lemon chicken at 2am because that's the only malaysian dish he's been craving for the last two years (ikr, whut) and 3-layer teaaaa! And then the four of us had a great chat and they left for SG by bus in the morning.

And then I went back to work and that's how the weekend came to an end.

Yup. Life is good.

am i ready for 2012?

2011-11-23T12:45:00.000-08:00

Probably not - considering I haven't even gotten a planner for next year yet.

Realistically speaking though, I've realised that regardless of whether or not I am ready for 2012, it's going to arrive sooner or later anyway.

Fortunately, I like to reflect the progress of my life based on other dates instead of the first of January. For instance, every year on the 6th of August, I think about how much I've accomplished at whatever age I'm at and then on the 6th of September itself, I think about all the things I hope to achieve in the coming year.

On the 6th of November (the day I won Flydol), I think aout what I want to achieve in my career and on the 6th of December (the day I started working full time at Fly), I will look back at what I actually have achieved in my career so far.

Then there's the 14th of March - the day of many epiphanies. That's when I think about how much I've grown as a person and about how strong or feeble my relationships with other people are.

But for now, 2012 looks exciting. There's a major vacation I've started saving up for (I know, I know - I just came back less than a fortnight ago) and I anticipate many adventures with all the people I've gotten closer to this year.

So maybe I am ready for 2012.

the best mistake i ever made was at 18.

2011-11-16T12:37:00.000-08:00

.
.
.
and sometimes,
talking to strangers can be the best thing you can do.
.
.
.

why, maybe?

2011-11-09T13:01:00.000-08:00

stuck in my head.

2011-10-11T09:39:00.000-07:00

more bad rhymin.

2011-10-09T11:22:00.000-07:00

.
.
.
Keep me in glass jar,
Have me when you're older.
Tell me what you love me.
Kiss me when you're sober.
.
.
.

split-second connections.

2011-10-03T09:01:00.000-07:00

I've come to realise that I've been out of the game for so long that I don't even know how to play it anymore. And just like any other wimp out there, I'm not even going to try.

I don't want to play.

I'm the bookworm. Gonna go home and read muh buuuuks.

counting down the days.

2011-09-30T15:53:00.000-07:00

Photographer: ~davespertine

September started with what seemed like endless birthday celebrations and just ended with one of the best shows I've had so far. Kyle Patrick actually looks pretty cute via webcam (but don't tell him I said that).

So now it's the first day of October and I'm already wishing November would come sooner. I desperately need to go on leave. I am going to patiently watch my colleagues go on holiday one by one before I run around like a maniac screaming "I'm freeeeeeee!!!!"

Don't get me wrong - I love my job! I just need a breather.

I need to get out of KL. I need a change of scene. I need to be somewhere strange and new.

I need and want to be in a place where no one knows who I am and where the only person who does doesn't actually give a shizz about what I do for a living.

For the next 34 days, I will do nothing but eat, sleep, work and read.

And maybe watch some tv.
And maybe breathe.
And maybe bug my boss because he won't be on leave either.

Also, do you know what Rule 34 of the internet is?

only four.

2011-09-22T15:20:00.000-07:00

So I've only been around for X number of years and in my whole life, I've only cried tears of joy four times.

Or at least I think it's only been four.

The first time was when I came home from Hobart for my 18th birthday. I stepped into my bedroom and cried because I couldn't believe I was home! (You can only imagine how much of a hell hole I thought Hobart was.)

The second time was when I won Flydol (so corny and cheesy and embarrassing, I know) and I'm sure you saw that coming. It's a strange feeling when you know your whole life's ahead of you yet you don't know what's coming!

The third time (and maybe fourth and fifth and sixth but we'll just bundle that up into one) was during my birthday because I never realised how many people actually love me.

Fuzzy feelings. Me likes.

And finally today. Or yesterday. Whatever. Times get all screwy when your shift is from 10pm to 1am.

Today has made whatever sh!t that's happened over the last ten months completely worth it.

there's hope after all.

2011-09-22T15:17:00.000-07:00

hello, there.

2011-09-06T10:15:00.000-07:00

.
.
.
I suddenly don't wanna go to Manila anymore.
Or actually I still do. But I have a new back up plan.
I've been inspired to do something else!

Also, yeah my birthday just ended.
I'm officially old now.
.
.
.

eh! ululand!

2011-09-01T09:28:00.000-07:00

i've said it many times before,

2011-08-28T09:49:00.000-07:00

But this year, I think I really want to go to...

All images from DeviantArt. Click on pics to go to original links.

tell me what you want.

2011-08-16T09:06:00.000-07:00

Okay so my show on Fly FM that happens every weeknight from 10pm to 1am is called

MUSIC REVOLUTION

and I'm trying to compile a list of artistes/bands/groups/DJs/rappers that we haven't played on Fly but really should so if you can think of a musician who's name isn't on this list, leave a comment at the bottom or tweet me at twitter.com/jaydeefied.

Progressively, I hope to be able to slash out some of the names on this list but please remember, that these are merely suggestions. You might not be able to listen to all of them right away, but rest assured, you will eventually :)

NOTE: Please don't list out David Archuleta or Justin Bieber or Britney Spears or anyone like that. I'm looking for new MUSICIANS, not old musicians with new songs...

A Day To Remember

A Rocket To The Moon

~~All Time Low~~

~~Athlete~~

Automatic Loveletter

Before You Exit

Between The Trees

Blake Shelton

~~Carrie Underwood~~

Cartel

Chiddy Bang

City and Colour

Cody Simposon

~~Dash Berlin~~

~~Drake~~

Ellie Goulding

Emilie Autumn

Evan Taubenfeld

Every Avenue

~~Florence~~ ~~and The Machine~~

~~Forever The Sickest Kids~~

Freelance Whales

Halifax

He Is We

Hello Hollywood

Hollywood Ending

Jennette McCurdy

JLS

JYJ

Lights

Mayday Parade

~~Mikey Wax~~

Mitchel Musso

Mutemath

Oh Land

~~One Direction~~

Parachute

Phoenix

Pink Spiders

Reverend and the Makers

Short Stack

Skrillex

Sondre Lerche

Sons of Sylvia

Steve Appleton

~~Taking Back Sunday~~

~~The Cab~~

The Maine

~~The Wonder Years~~

~~There For Tomorrow~~

This Century

Tom Felton

Travis Garland

Two Door Cinema Club

VersaEmerge

~~We Are The In Crowd~~

~~You Me At Six~~

Also, remember, I'm looking for music from ANY genre - bring in the gangsta rap and trance and dubstep!

twitter today.

2011-08-15T07:48:00.000-07:00

so lost and disillusioned.

2011-08-12T14:40:00.000-07:00

I expect a little answer at the end of it all, okay?

Metaphor by Peindrelaville

Imagine your dream car.

Picture every detail you can think of. Visualise it in your mind - all perfect and shiny and new. It doesn't matter if it's a sports car or a luxury sedan or anything else. As long as it's the car you want, then that's the car I'm talking about.

Now imagine yourself taking it out for a test drive and it is everything you've dreamt of and more. Even with the windows wound up, you can feel the wind in your hair! The amount of elbow room is just right. You sink into the leather seats and feel as if you're floating on a cloud.

You think it cannot get any better than this, but it does!

The salesman tells you how much it costs and you're in luck: you can actually afford it. The car is all yours for a price you're more than willing to pay for and you wouldn't have to sacrifice anything or make do with less. Your perfect car comes at the perfect price.

Of course, you think to yourself, that all of this is too good to be true.

And of course, you'd be right. It is.

As you're about to sign the documents and make your purchase, the salesman says, with a tinge of regret, that your car will be available in three years.

Three whole years.

In disbelief, you mumble your queries. But why? Is it being custom made? Is it the long waiting list? Will the car be exactly the way I want it in three years?

He merely says why and how are unimportant. Point is: if you really want this car, you can have it. You just need to wait for three years.

So would you wait for three years for the perfect car? Or would you just forget about it and get a different car? Or would do something else completely? Tell me. I'm dying to know.

---------------------------

I'm going to digress a little and say that the scenario I came up with perfectly explains Feeling This, by Blink-182. The line "fate fell short this time" takes a little stab at my heart every time I hear it.

Look to the past and remember and smile,
And maybe tonight I can breathe for a while.

I'm not in the scene,
I think I'm falling asleep.

But then all that it means is
I'll always be dreaming of you.

once more, with feeling.

2011-08-12T14:25:00.000-07:00

Wow. Things really have changed.
Arnold, 12 August 2011

By this time next week, I will be in my car with Karalyn and Julian at Singapore Immigration. We're going for Baybeats, an annual music festival with acts from all over the world. We don't even know what the lineup is, but I suppose we would have taken any excuse to repeat the adventure.

And I say "repeat" because last year, in August 2010, Julian and I made the same trip down to Singapore.

So this is just me being all corny and nostalgic.

August 2010 was when I took this photo:

August 2010 was the last time I felt perfectly boring (and I was comfortable with that).

August 2010 was when I realised I really could do stupid things - like running to the next country without any solid plans to find someone who didn't know I was coming.

August 2010 was the last time I met M.
(M's a friend that seems to constantly swim in and out of my life.)

And I think I can safely say I feel sooooo good
about how things have changed in the last year...

warum, august?

2011-08-12T13:59:00.000-07:00

I.M. Magazine, August 2011

August is, and always has been, an awkward month for me. Every year, on the 6th, I look back on the eleven months that have passed and stop and think of what I've accomplished in my life (so far) and what I intend on doing with the rest of it.

Then, inevitably, comes a swarm of mixed emotions. The bittersweet memories always leave me feeling slightly satisfied, impressed with myself, and with regret. It's a daunting annual ritual. This year, the only issue that stood out was:

What do I think/feel about fate?

Fate, not to be confused with faith (although, the question of that also arrises somewhere in that web of self-discovery), is something I've always been slightly skeptical of.

My career, the people who have moved in to and out of my life, the things I have learnt and the reactions I have made and received - were they all really meant to happen the way they did?

I've never doubted the existence of a higher power (although I think it's safe to say I'm simply agnostic), but lately there have been too many coincidences that it's been hard to ignore the signs.

Jororo said I've had a "emotional and psychological growth spurt", but he forgets that he too is blocking my path to inner peace.

If you think all of this has been very vague - I don't blame you.
When I figure it all out, then maybe I'll be ready for my birthday.

my life in a week.

2011-07-12T09:36:00.001-07:00

So last week was pretty insane. Too many things happened, and so many epiphanies.

To start with, I've got a brand new show! It's called Fly FM's Music Revolution, 10pm-1am on weeknights. You can check it out at www.flyfm.com.my/musicrevolution. I'm pretty psyched about it cause we're gonna have this new thing called New Music Army! If you're a recruit, you can directly suggest songs to us - things you think Fly FM should play.

On a little side note, when I was much younger I discovere this band called New Love Army. They say they're genre's Alt/Glam/Rock but I think they sound nothing like that. Only thing that's pretty cool about them is their logo that I've always thought was pretty rad. How much trouble dya think I'd get into if we stole it for our New Music Army? No? Okay so maybe not.

Like I said, I only thought the logo was cool.

Also, last monday was officially the bestest day ever! Or at least, the best day I've had in the last eight months. Not only did we launch my new show, but Phat Fabes and Ben came back! :D

It was also one of those days where everything went right. I caught myself smiling to myself throughout the day (quite embarrassing, but if no one else notices - it should be alright, right?) and Simon came back from Australia and bought me a hat! (I can't find a picture of that hat anymore, but I tweeted it so yeah. Maybe it's a better idea to follow if you want instant updates. Cause I tend to get a little more emo when I'm blogging stuff).

On Tuesday my friend Dion came from JB - he actually had the crappiest bus ride ever but it was great to have him in KL! And on Wednesday, Evana came back from Russia! And I had the bestest afternoon conversation ever! And my interview with Hot Magazine was published!

Actually, I don't even know why I want to continue. Long story short, last week was the bestest week ever, and the remaining weeks of 2011 had better get ready for a girl with high expectations.

Now, speaking of all the music you can suggest for the new show, here's a look at new songs I've fallen in love with this week:

That's all for now. Till the next post!

xx

dear bigfoot,

2011-07-07T07:42:00.000-07:00

Stop reading my blog. Stop listening to my show.

And have a safe flight :)

dear somebody.

2011-07-02T10:10:00.000-07:00

p/s - if you're wondering where the cbox went, I've deleted it. If you've got anything to say about any of the posts, just leave a comment, k?

sunset in subang.

2011-06-18T23:11:00.000-07:00

reminds me of why I love you.

i keep getting spam on my cbox.

2011-06-13T07:54:00.001-07:00

so I'm thinking of deleting it.

out of sight, out of mind.

2011-06-08T12:30:00.000-07:00

Don’t tell me absence makes the heart grow fonder – it only refutes what I’m trying to say, and doesn’t work just as well.

A couple of relatives of mine have found their way into our home for the night. Actually, their visit wasn’t entirely unexpected but I’m just cranky because the thing is, I never remembered them being so annoying. And there you have it – absence makes the heart grow fonder. Their absence has made me realise that I had in fact forgotten their little quirks and awkward small talk to the point that I actually thought I missed them.

Actually, I’m just being a twat. I like my family. Sorta.

But I digress.

When you stop listening to the music you used to listen to, you forget about the songs that have moulded you completely. When you leave your schoolbooks in your bag, you forget about the homework you were supposed to have done. When you go home from work and don’t have to look at your irritating colleague, you forget that just hours ago, you wanted to punch that mofo in the face.

And when you stop talking to the friends you used to spend so much time being with, you forget how much they used to mean to you.

Which is sad, really, but then again that’s all what life is supposedly about. That’s why the gift card companies who think they’ve outsmarted us come up with bookmarks with cheesy friendship quotes.

But then that’s when you feel like you’ve had an epiphany because the best sort of friends are the ones that you can say nothing to for months, or even years, but still feel like you just met them yesterday the moment they say hello.

Or if and when they say “Whuuuut. Me too!”

a little lesson in happiness.

2011-06-07T11:16:00.000-07:00

I spent the afternoon smiling to myself today.

All my life I've had many people that I am such a happy person.

BUT

I've also always had many people tell me that I'm too angry.

So while I admit that I'm an easily agitated person,

today I realised that it takes

just the littlest things to make me happy too!

And for that, I am thankful.

But I've also realised today that there's a slight difference between realistic happiness and surreal happiness - but that doesn't apply to everyone and I'll get to that later.

So today I've felt the happiest I've ever felt in quite a while. When it rains, it pours - even when it comes to the good stuff. Last week I had a massive life lesson on growing up and this week, I seem to be getting a lesson on being humble and thankful.

Loads of people out there say that happiness is a choice - and that you get it from within yourself, and that no one else controls your happiness, etc (and all that crap), so I am extra thankful that the reasons I've been happy lately are because of other people.

It started when I discovered that in the last six months, I managed to gain a very good friend and confidant. I was a total beetch to him in public over the weekend and despite the fact that I was being a total pain in the ash, he never once talked back, he didn't pull a face, and he didn't treat me any differently. Instead, he invited me out on Saturday night (although he shouldn't have - because then I acted like a beetch again), pretended like nothing happened (which I still sort of feel is a little weird) and gave me cuddles (which made me happy).

I wish I were that good a friend in return.

And there's an even better feeling to know that someone out there feels for you. I'm not just talking about casual empathy - I have actually found someone who sort of feels what I feel, or at least should feel, on my behalf. It's like when good things happen and people say that they're happy for you. I have found someone who I actually do believe is happy for me when good things happen.

The other day I got into a little trouble and oddly enough, he seemed angrier about it all than I did and that in turn, oddly enough, made me happy to know that I actually have people in my life who actually care.

Another strange and new form happiness I have felt is that feeling where someone really "gets you". It's awkwardly comforting to find someone you don't have to explain yourself to and who already knows too much crap about you.

When I said "Do you know I actually know nothing about X-Men?", this was the response I got:

(please overlook the typos)

In case you've lost the plot: so far I am thankful/happy for having someone who accepts me for who I am (even when who I am is sometimes an annoying beetch), for having someone who feels on my behalf (as weird as that sounds), and for someone who just gets me.

Today I also met Muffin (okay so his real name is actually Russell). Muffin is of those people that I met at random who ended up being a close friend. I met him when he was working in a music store back in 2009. He was studying in the US and now he's back!

This also makes me very happy.

Muffin needs more tattoos.

I also realised that I now have a hundred followers on Instagram.

Yay me!

Okay, so I don't actually know who the hell gets excited over having a hundred followers on instagram, but we're talking about the littlest things, remember? And this is another little thing I noticed today.

Now this is a biggie.
To me, that is.

Little known fact: I get excited over the smallest little coincidences. It's ridiculous, I know, but it's the little serendipitous moments that I live for.

A friend that I haven't spoken to in a while sent me a link today - it was a little online zine-ish thing that featured him at an event wearing this shirt:

Which got me mad excited because

I bought that shirt for him.

But that's not all.

It's the Placebo 2010 Tour shirt and when he sent me the link this afternoon,

I was wearing the exact same shirt.

I know this is a childishly written blog post - it's not up to par with the other things I've written, but I just wanted to preserve these little things that've made me happy today. I wanted to immortalise the moments, if you will.

I'll elaborate a little more on the tiny things. Try not to leave out the details. But those are posts for another day.

All I'm going to do right now is go to bed smiling to myself yet again.

six six six.

2011-06-06T07:05:00.000-07:00

Today is the sixth day of the sixth month and
I have been on-air for exactly six months.

And to be honest, it's all still so surreal.

if only i could do this every day.

2011-06-02T07:25:00.000-07:00

8TV SHOWDOWN.

2011-05-05T07:38:00.000-07:00

Behind the scenes...

For the next ten weeks, the Fly 30 (the show I do every weeknight from 8pm-midnight) will be broadcasting live from i-City in Shah Alam. That's the place with the bright lights. Will tweet/blog more pictures soon!

8TV's Showdown is hosted by my on-air partner / surrogate husband / father Hafiz.

And that dude in blue is Helmi Chicken who works on the 8TV Quickie!

i have good friends.

2011-05-05T07:30:00.000-07:00

and I am very thankful :)

scribbles.

2011-05-05T07:27:00.000-07:00

...sometimes sucks.

But not always.

magic muffins.

2011-05-05T07:25:00.000-07:00

Triple-choc chocolate chip muffins.

Home made with blood, sweat and looooooveeeeee.

And one day when I open a muffin store, you must come, k? :)

instructions to a night out.

2011-05-05T06:58:00.000-07:00

(seen on a menu)

himym in russian!

2011-04-29T22:33:00.001-07:00

i hate my friends.

2011-04-27T07:17:00.000-07:00

These are screenshots of facebook...

My friend Azhar is an idiot.

I tweeted these and someone actually said that I should ask for commission from the sale of these bunnies. I agree.

tumblr is evil.

2011-04-27T07:04:00.000-07:00

If you have yet to discover the wonderful world of tumblr, then you my friend, are seriously missing out on one of life's greatest pleasures.

I've got my own tumblr but since I haven't been really active on it, my friends have found it apt to tweet me some of the things I didn't discover for myself.

This one's from my friend Ching:

This is from my friend Cherly:

But this one takes the cake. Found here:

Yup. Tumblr is evil.

nerds 2² life.

2011-04-27T06:48:00.000-07:00

Virtual cookies if you know who the author is.

don't let me near your kids.

2011-04-27T06:45:00.000-07:00

People should stop letting me take photos of their kids. But then again, it's their fault for having cute kids...

And yeah, I know the photos are super lousy. Sorrylah.

i need another holiday.

2011-04-27T06:01:00.000-07:00

Sri Lanka was gorgeous! More pictures coming soon.

xx

hafiz and his search for his lappy speakers.

2011-04-06T05:59:00.000-07:00

Lesson: always read the instruction manual.

time flies.

2011-04-06T05:16:00.000-07:00

2002
Fourth from the left, second from the right.
Black shirt and same long black hair.

2010
Still in the black shirt. Still with the long hair.
Still into radio.

it's in the blood.

2011-04-06T05:07:00.000-07:00

The sexy one on the left is my cousin Li-Sze and the other dorky one is my sister Jay Zee. Where my uncle got that sign from, I have no idea.

a blogging bluff that still makes you laugh.

2011-03-31T05:22:00.000-07:00

I know I've basically just been blogging a lot of videos but for some reason, this week has been about videos. So here's a little change. May I present to you today's brilliant edition of Cyanide and Happiness.

*click to enlarge*

i think i wanna do this too.

2011-03-29T05:54:00.000-07:00

I have been obsessed, and I mean OBSESSED with this video since yesterday. I even made my friend watch it at 3am last night. All thanks to Zher for showing it to me.

sad sad songs.

2011-03-29T05:24:00.001-07:00

So last week I posted a list of ten songs for when you're smitten and light headed but tonight, I've got a list of sad ones instead. Jiwang Mode: ON.

1. The Spill Canvas - All Hail The Heartbreaker

2. Taking Back Sunday - Your Own Disaster

3. Björk - Pagan Poetry

4. Usher - Burn

5. David Choi - Won't Even Start

6. Chicosci - Breathe Again

7. Tegan and Sara - Call It Off

8. All American Rejects - Damn Girl

9. Marilyn Manson - ♠

10. Damien Rice - The Blower's Daughter

phat vs fat.

2011-03-28T06:55:00.000-07:00

So I read this article from here and it was both stupid and hilarious. It's a little insensitive and I had to censor quite a bit of it but I still felt like sharing cause I think we're all getting a little fat so ta-dah!

congratulations!

2011-03-28T06:20:00.000-07:00

This is Syafiq. He won that RM60,000 shopping spree in Fly FM's I Wanna Live My Dream! He said he's gonna spend the money to buy equipment on his burger stall and on his wedding!!! :D

If you can see that little pink thing at the left of the picture in the back - that's his girlfriend, now fiance, Balqis! It was so cute because they weren't even engaged but he told everyone that he wants to marry her!

And it was such a coincidence that I met him today in 1Utama with Balqis. They were already checking out stuff they can buy with the money. Hehehehe!

inspirational?

2011-03-28T05:59:00.001-07:00

You know that weird thing that facebook does where it asks you to list the people who inspire you? This was the first name I put:

Virtual cookies if you can tell me who that is.

still singing smitten songs.

2011-03-24T07:36:00.000-07:00

Even if you aren't in love, it's time to fall in love with these tunes. Here are my top ten smitten songs (of the moment).

1. John West - Loved You Tonight

2. Jamelia - Something About You

3. Bachelor Girl - Buses and Trains

4. David Choi - I Can Get Used To This

5. Counting Crows - Accidentally In Love

6. N*SYNC - The Two Of Us

7. Damien Rice - Cannonball

8. A*Teens - Sugar Rush

9. Blue - You Make Me Wanna

10. Noise Ratchet - Crush (Mandy Moore Cover)

<3

just for a moment.

2011-03-24T06:04:00.000-07:00

So last saturday we went for the Super Junior Super Show 3 in Kuala Lumpur and I am now officially a fan.

Fly FM and One FM were the official radio stations for the event and it was madness! The set was awesome. The choreography was awesome. The boys, all ten of them, were just too darn cute.

I haven't got any photos of Kara, only videos so I'll try to upload them soon.

Now something very ~~embarrassing~~ adorable happened that night. For a moment, and just a moment, Lee Teuk stared into my eyes.

Talk about love at first sight.

(picture by Karalyn)

Now, I may never get the chance to see him again - I didn't even get the chance to speak to him in person, but a girl can dream right? Please indulge in some of the photos I stole off the internet:

mysterious and spooky.

2011-03-17T12:56:00.000-07:00

Meet the Addams Family.

Now meet Morticia Addams, the mother.

She was first played by Carolyn Jones back in the 1960s.

And was then played by Anjelica Huston in the newer version.

Soooo, a couple of days ago, out of no where, Prem said I look like Morticia.

To be honest, I would have much prefered to be compared to
Dita von Teese.

but don't we all?

2011-03-15T12:01:00.000-07:00

I fall very easily. Both literally and metaphorically.

If you’ve ever met me in person (or have read my tweets), you may have noticed that I’m a bit of a klutz. That would explain all the scars and bruises on my unsightly unladylike legs.

And this isn’t a recent development. Last Thursday’s disaster where I sat in shock and screamed bloody murder in the morning is as minor as it gets.

When I was fourteen I had about a dozen shots within that one year. The first was that tetanus shot they give you at school. The others included two more tetanus shots and loads of antibiotics cause I fell off my bike twice.

The first time it happened I had a Slurpee in each hand and was riding downhill. I was going too fast but wasn’t willing to let go of my drinks so I ended up crashing into the monsoon drain rail and flying backwards with my legs tangled with the bike. That’s what you get for not steering, kids. I remember calling my dad cause I knew my mom would freak (which she did).

Three months after, I was watching a distinguished man and a prostitute (maybe she wasn’t, but she sure seemed like one. I don’t know for sure and I never will) get into a nice posh car and wasn’t looking ahead. I rode into the curb and fell off then and there. This time I roughed it out, got back on and rode home. Once bitten, twice shy so my mom just shook her head and brought me to the clinic to get cleaned up and bandaged. The moment we walked through the doors into the antiseptic-scented room, the nurse said “fall down bicycle again ah, girl?”

Oddly enough, I don’t remember it being too humiliating.

And yes, I’ll admit, I also keep falling in love.

Before you throw in the predictable, “Pffsh! It’s called infatuation, you fool!” I can tell you it’s not; and this burning feeling is how I make my best decisions (or so I think).

I fell in love with a pair of purple shoes. They were flat, sandal-ish things with colourful detail. It was hooked at first sight and fell in love after trying them on. 10 minutes later, and quite a few bucks poorer, they were mine and I felt like I was so happy I could die. After a year, they looked a little worn out but still, whenever I wore them, without fail, some other chick, normally strangers, would tell me they loved my shoes and I was convinced that they were the best thing that ever happened to me.

Then I fell down on Thursday morning and ruined them and am now heartbroken. I think I’ll be scarred for life. I believe I will never get over the loss of those perfect shoes.

And now I’m a little frustrated with myself for being so darn materialistic. UGH. ARGH. GAH.

But I digress. I fall in love with other things often too.

And when I fall in love, I fall hard.

Whenever I read a book, or even just a blurb from a book, and it catches my attention, I will hunt down all the information I can get on the author. Who they are, where they’re from, and why they write the things they do. As a child I adored Roald Dahl, Sue Townsend and Judy Blume. When I was in school I was in love with Cecilia Ahern and Sophie Kinsella but eventually I outgrew all of that. Then I kept falling for Paulo Coelho and Nick Hornby and had a total starstruck moment when I got Tash Aw to autograph my book.

The very first TBS song I heard was Liar and I spent years and years memorising every word, collecting every album, and trying to play their songs on the piano. Ahhh, the devotion of a foolish teenager.

And then I met a boy who knew every line to every TBS song.

But that’s a story for another day.

lego? lego.

2011-03-11T05:40:00.000-08:00

There's this iPhone app, by LEGO and it turns all your photos into mini LEGO art!!!

If you tell me you didn't get to play with Lego when you were young, then I feel sorry for you. Nyehehehehehe...

Anyway, guess who these two are. Here's a hint: they both work at Fly AND are on the 8TV Quickie.

And if you can't make out the pictures, take a step back cause they're clearer that way.

And if you're bad at guessing (or are just plain lazy), click on their pics to check out their twitter accounts.

neither here nor there.

2011-03-08T10:57:00.000-08:00

I'm gonna go on a little rant now. Poor Hafiz has to listen and tolerate my shizz everyday. Now it's your turn. You don't even need to read the whole thing. You can just pretend you did and I'll believe you anyway. But then again, why wouldn't you want to read the whole thing? Aside from the logic of my over-inflated ego, this is one of the rare opportunities for you to get an actual glimpse into the jaydeefied life of irony. Why else would you read my blog if you didn't want to know more about me?

So here goes nothing:

I don't even know how I feel anymore. If anything, I feel frustrated because I don't know how I feel.

The last time I ever felt actual sadness (and I mean real sadness. None of that "I'm sad cause I haven't had my coffee yet" sort of sadness, mind you. That's just me being a whiney attention seeker) was August last year. It was ridiculous. Long story short, I was screwed over by a "good friend" but, because life was already hectic even back then, I never had a moment to pause and think about it. We didn't get the chance to talk it out.

September comes and not only was I being shuffled from one birthday celebration to another (my birthday's on the 6th. Hehehe...), it was Raya month and there were all those celebrations too (I'm not Malay but, orang Malaysia memang muhibah, kan?). By the time I had the chance to tell this "good friend" off, I had gotten over it. Sadness gone. End of story.

October comes and I auditioned for this contest called Flydol and my "good friend" gets people to vote for me and obviously, was eventually forgiven. Turns out my "good friend" really is a good friend after all. That's why the inverted commas were removed. (If you didn't get the pun, it's okay. I'm a nerd that way.)

Before I knew it, November arrived and I won Flydol. Woo hoo I became a radio deejay! I am now DJ JD! My name is officially a palindrome!! (Sorry, another nerdy joke.)

Sadness forgotten completely. Happiness has skyrocketed! More woo hoo noises!

I go on air in December. Host an outdoor broadcast counting down to January. Do the show by myself for two weeks in February. And now it's the second week of March.

This is where things get tricky.

When I first won Flydol, I was just ecstatic! And I didn't go on air right after I won so it was cool. All I needed to do was bask in my little pond of happiness. It was a pond but it felt like the ocean to me.

At the end of November I attended my first major event and it was the shizz. And not in a good way. When you're surrounded by all these big shots, models, musicians, actors, and so-called self-proclaimed superstars, you'd realise how insignificant being the Flydol was. Sure, a couple of people had heard of me and only knew who I was after I'd introduced myself; but aside from the one dork who was genuinely interested in talking to me (and that dork has also caused a lot of other shizz in my life - but that's a looooong story and we'll save it for another day), no one gave two fecks about me. Even the nobodies (the self-proclaimed superstars - I'll complain about them another day too) didn't give an ish.

And for a brief moment there, I was sure Fly FM had made a mistake.

(But I soon realised I was wrong. Thank God. Haha. Sorry sorry ego kicking in again!)

When I started going on air, some people said a few pseudo-complimentary things almost as if to try and make me feel guilty for winning. Yknow, the ones who congratulate you for something you've achieved but say something self-pitying of themselves so you don't actually end up feeling like you've received a compliment?Yeah. That sort of thing. And a couple of D-bags I barely know said things like "I didn't think you were going to win but congrats, I guess". WTF? If you ever have people like that in your life, you should definitely block them out. If you can't escape them, just treat them as professionally as you can.

Then came the flood of all my "friends". I'm gonna be very frank here, I'd say I know a lot of people, but I wouldn't say I have many "friends", proportionately speaking.

Suddenly everyone I knew from back in school was trying to contact me again. Everyone wanted to invite me out for lunch, or dinner, or coffee, or tea. Some are extra friendly. Kissing up, if you will. Some are even bold enough to give directives like "lunch on friday yeah". Some people sent me messages and tweets saying "eh, gimme your phone number" without "please" or "hello" or anything even remotely polite.

It's always nice to get invited out but what I'd like to know is:

WHY IS IT YOU NEVER TRIED TO CONTACT ME EVEN ONCE BEFORE I GOT ONTO RADIO?

The worst are the baskets who have the cheek to tell me that I'm "arrogant" and "lupa kawan" now that I'm at Fly. Those are the ones I want to tell you about. I'd like to dig their eyeballs out with using a fork. These are people I haven't spoken to in years.

How pretentious and delusional do you need to be to think that you can throw false accusations at me for no apparent reason?

Even back when I was in uni, I worked two part time jobs. I never had time for most people anyway. The only reason you didn't notice I had no time for anyone was because you never tried to hang out with me back then. And now you say I'm big headed cause I'm famous now.

The best part is, I DON'T EVEN THINK I'M FAMOUS.

Fools.

Of course, it's not all bad.

I still have friends who haven't changed. There are few who were there from before and throughout Flydol who are the same even now. There are many who treat me the same way they did they always have.

Then there are random strangers who have no idea what I do for a living and are nice to me. There are listeners to tweet me and tell me they laughed at something stupid I said on air and that makes me happy. There are the people I work with and see every day who make me feel like I belong a little.

These are the people I'm thankful for.

I'm sure some of you are going to read this and think that I'm an ungrateful piece of nothing and you'd be wrong. Some of you are going to say even worse things but then if you did, it's likely you're one of the idiots who were mean to me from back then.

And some of you will understand where I'm coming from, and I'm thankful for people like you too.

bambi and thumper.

2011-03-08T10:25:00.000-08:00

If you're a Disney fan, like myself, you should have seen Bambi at least once! When I watched it as a teenager I thought it was a bit of a drag, but when I was a child, I LOVED IT!

There was this scene in the movie where Thumper (the bunny) says something silly and his mom asks, "Thumper! What did your father tell you this morning?" and Thumper obediently replies "If you've got nothing nice to say, don't say nothing at all".

Wise words there. My mom uses them on me even today.

So I got these pictures from an email that was forwarded to me and they're images of an actual deer and a rabbit! It's brilliant!

The email didn't quote the photographer (typical malaysian plagiarism) but fortunately, the photog watermarked all her images. I googled her. Her name is Tanja Askani, she's Czechoslovakian and now lives in Germany. You can check her website out here. Or just type out http://www.tanja-askani.de.

These pictures were apparently taken in Canada.

too school for cool.

2011-03-04T05:26:00.000-08:00

So Fly FM, or rather Media Prima Radio Networks (MPRN) is doing this thing called LOL - Live Out Loud and it's for students who have a keen interest in the broadcasting industry. There are all sorts of things you can do with the website like get help on your assignments, apply for student visits to the Fly FM studio (so you can disturb us), and apply for internships here! It's all pretty cool. And the website , http://lol.flyfm.com.my/ , looks very cute.

This video is also wayyy cute. And it actually explains everything a whole lot easier than I can.

So we had this little press conference for some of the local schools and colleges to talk about the website and the events we're gonna have and we had to dress up! Most of the jocks from One FM, our sister station were dressed like good school children. Wayne (from One FM) even had one of those sweatervest sort of things with geeky glasses. A few of the jocks from Hot FM dressed as teachers.

And you know how we do it on the Fly 30 right?
Meet the dropouts. The rebels. The supafly losers.

Here's one for the yearbook:

xx

holeeching forever.

2011-03-04T04:38:00.000-08:00

She loves me sooooo much that she saved my number on speedial twice!

fly fm's cupid catch

2011-03-04T04:25:00.000-08:00

A quick behind-the-scenes look at the nonsense we did...

Backstage, our trooper Akmal found the costume for the Sunway Pyramid mascot. Apparently it was really stinky inside...

Cupid Prem getting ready...

I had to be a cupid giving out quotes! Mine was "all you need is love". Even the Beatles can help you win money!

If you were there, you may have seen this ginormous TV clock we had to show the time. I bumped my head on it while I was trying to get backstage and Prem kept telling everyone how stupid that was. In the end, guess who bumped his head on the same clock.

skip the tell and let's just show.

2011-02-21T06:22:00.000-08:00

SONG OF THE MOMENT SONG OF THE MOMENT SONG OF THE MOMENT
GET UP AND DANCE RIGHT NOW PLEASE

But from a more serious and technical perspective, the videography is awesome.

happy valentine's day!

2011-02-13T10:02:00.000-08:00

dear somebody,

2011-01-30T05:39:00.000-08:00

i need a holiday.

2011-01-27T01:45:00.000-08:00

It's not that the work is too much of a hassle.

It's not that I hate the city.

I just need to spend a coupla days in Happy Town with nothing more than

my books,

my music,

and you.

maybe next weekend.

2011-01-26T00:35:00.000-08:00

twenty eleven?

2011-01-07T05:31:00.000-08:00

Everyone's been asking me what my new years resolutions are and truth be told, I've been rather reluctant to list them down.

It's not that I've been procrastinating or anything - it's just that I often think it's redundant to list them out. More often than not, resolutions are not filled. Because a year is just too, for lack of a better phrase, long-term. I'm the kind of person who would rather set my goals at the beginning of every month, yknow?

But I've decided to conform to this global tradition of potential failures. Yes, I have succumbed to the annual ritual the way I succumbed to the ever so infamous WhatsApp (inside joke but jfyi, for the longest time I was known as the only person with an iPhone4 who didn't use it).

So I guess, here they are:

1. I'm gonna be the bestest radio DJ I can be.
or at least, I'm gonna try as hard as possible. The other day our engineer, Simon a.k.a @simonsta said that I sound like a person who's been working here for three months instead of one. I guess that was a pretty massive compliment. But more seriously tho, I realise that I have been blessed with such a great opportunity and although I am thankful, I know I mustn't take it for granted. I believe that one can grow so much in a year and this is the year I do it right.

2. I will reach an ideal weight and I will stick to it.
I will also try to visit the gym (or rather a gym - which reminds me, I really should join a gym) as often as possible. I will ~~stop eating~~ cut down on junk food.

3. I will begin and finish the Pout Project.
It's this thing I've been meaning to do for quite a while. Pretty straight forward. You'll see how it turns out soon.

4. Make. More. Muffins.

5. I will be a better person.
I will stop being so paranoid. I will be more patient and tolerant towards people. I will help people more. I will organise my room, my schedule and my life. I will be a better child, sibling, collegue and friend.

6. I will make a proper future for myself.
I will focus on my career. I will make solid plans. I will take opportunities as they come.

7. I will go on more adventures.
And I actually went on one on new years day itself! Next destination: foreign land.

8. I will dream more.

9. I will manage my moolah.
I will make smart decisions. I will not give into impulse.

That's basically it. I think they sound achievable. I think they sound realistic.
10. I will open up and let someone into my life.
I think I can make them happen.

What are/were your new years resolutions?

2011, you are...

2011-01-01T12:02:00.001-08:00

.
...lifechanging.
I trip over everything you say. I really do.
'I forget that "don't talk" doesn't mean "don't breathe"...'

maybe i would have been something you'd be good at.

2010-12-30T11:59:00.000-08:00

Tegan and Sara - Call It Off from Ashley Brown on Vimeo.

this is my final thought for you this year
we'll see what 2011 has in store
for us

I won't be out long,
but I still think it better if you take your time coming over here.
.

not asking for too much.

2010-12-29T12:54:00.000-08:00

.
People keep talking about giving gifts, especially gifts that cannot be bought. There has been a ridiculous number of suggestions - some even made by myself, on what you should give. At the end of the day it's always been the same: love and time.

They also say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, so with both love and time, you cook for the ones you love. It's a kind gesture and even if whatever concoction you've come up with tastes like burnt rubber, your loved ones will pretend to enjoy it anyway because they've appreciated your sincerity.

Then there's the literal gift of time when you spend actual "quality time" with the ones you love. Sounds simple enough; till you realise your brother's a misanthrope and your mother hasn't got any time to spare for you just because you've found a free moment to spend with her.

So why is it I haven't heard anyone suggest the gift of music?

Before you cry "pffsh! I can't play a musical instrument to save my life!", hear me out a little here.

Some of my fondest memories of being a teenager involve jamming to stupid punk songs with my friends' band (then known as The Sigma Effect) and lazing around in my friend Michael's room while he strummed his guitar and sang. Even during my last holiday, the highlight of my trip was sitting by the reservoir with my closest mates, being serenaded to some of the soppiest songs from earlier in the decade (that's Dion in the picture above).

I think the thing I've always wanted to receive as a gift is a song. As in, a song written for me...or about me. I know, I know - it's a rather narcissistic request; but if I had to make a wishlist, that would probably be the only thing on that list. I already have a great family, and great friends and a great job - what more is there to ask for?

I've gotten close once - for my 19th birthday a boy wrote me a poem and he wedged it into a novel that he neatly wrapped up in bright wrapping paper. I can't say I felt the same way in return but it was one of the sweetest things that anyone has ever gotten me.

But sticking to the concept of do unto others as you would have them do unto you, if you can't write a song well then, I guess the next best thing would be for you to dedicate one, aye?

I love it when we get callers who tell us a quick story about something or other. It's usually rather vague and eventually they start to sound the same - "I want to dedicate this song to this person because I've got a crush on him/her". Sometimes they get a little ahead of themselves and scream as they profess their love to the world.

And what's up with all the anonymity? Do you not want the person you've fallen head over heels for to know that you feel the way that you do?

So instead of saying "Hi, I'm Romeo and I would like to dedicate this song to my special someone" why not start saying "Hi, I'm Romeo and I would like to dedicate this song to Juliet, the love of my life"?

I understand that people often feel shy, but what if that person is actually listening in? In a split second he or she could have heard you and not actually heard you, yknow?

So if you simply must be anonymous, why not drop a few hints? Say "Hi, I'm Romeo and this goes out to the girl who saved me from a burning building in Damansara Utama on the 6th of August last year. You know who you are". That'd be nice.

Better yet, tell us even more! Why not say "Hi, Hafiz and Jay Dee. I'm Romeo and I want to dedicate this song to the love of my life. I met her at a rock concert and after she kissed me on the cheek that night, I just had to ask her out on a date. We went out for lunch and she drew me a dinosaur on a napkin. Later that day we spent the whole night at a mamak talking about our future together and our kids and where we're going to live. I can't tell you her name but she loves your show so I bet she's listening in. Could you play us a soppy love song? Pretty please?"

And if you're anything like our loyal listener, Hasif a.k.a @kucingsesat, you'd at least offer to belanja us capati for playing your song.

I'm just kidding about the capati.
We'd actually prefer coffee.

More seriously though, I still think music would make the perfect gift.

On Christmas Day, Zhi Vern asked me to make a shout out to his family for the yuletide holiday and, although he didn't say it in so many words, I could almost sense the bliss in his voice (if you've met Zhi Vern, you'd know it's almost impossible to tell when he's kidding or being serious - let alone figure out if he's happy) when he told me that his parents had heard it on air. Things like that make my job extremely satisfying.

That said, if and when you find it in yourself to open up a little more, please call in and tell us your story. It doesn't have to sound death-defying or spectacular. Love isn't always about fireworks and electric shocks. Neither is infatuation. And who cares if the rest of the world thinks your little experience/emotion/story is silly? Hafiz and I won't. The person you're in love with definitely won't. So what's holding you back from making even more heartfelt dedications?

P/S - If you call in and say you'd like to dedicate a rock song to the girl who's stolen your heart because she made you laugh while you two were on an adventure, you won't have to write me a song anymore ;)

life.

2010-12-26T08:07:00.000-08:00

I wasn't looking,

but I am so relieved I've found someone who gets that.

"Maybe good things happen when you don't expect them to,"
he said. And I think I 'm starting to believe that.

i've missed doing this.

2010-12-23T22:49:00.000-08:00

Get up, love.

It's time for another adventure.
Congratulations. You have successfully caught my attention.
You are the perfect distraction.
Now I need a distraction from you.

pheatured photog: raffi th'ng

2010-12-22T10:37:00.000-08:00

raffithng.blogspot.com

facebook.com/raffithngphotography

THIS is Raffi

that's why a big part of me doesn't trust you.

2010-12-21T11:01:00.000-08:00

It always starts off the same way:

First, there's the 'oh you do that? I do it too!' and the 'I like doing this. Do YOU like doing this?' just to grasp a vague idea of what the other person is like.

Then comes the talk of the car. I don't get it. Why must there always be a car in the equation? Why does it need to be a new car and why would it be a big enough reason for me to come and see it?

Finally comes the "accidentally", "inaccurately" read sentences that come out wrong.

Add the unnaturally child-like face, and you've reached the bonus round.
But dammit, you sure are hard to resist.

to rhythm and sound.

2010-12-20T10:26:00.000-08:00

sounds like: s*x, dr*gs and alc*h*l

alternative soundtrack to: an almost perfect night out

imagine this:

It's saturday evening and you're ready to party the night away with your best mates - you're getting all pumped and excited so you hit the clubs and you're feeling the groove. Suddenly, some creep who seems to have forgotten to button the top half of his shirt starts trying to grind with you, licks his lips and spits in your face while he inaccurately mouths out the lyrics to whatever song is being played.

That was my first impression of the album.

It starts off pumping with The Time (Dirty Bit), then the hype dies down a little with Love You Long Time.

Back to the story.

After you get rid of the disgusting oaf, things start picking up again and you're dancing to Do It Like This and when some sweet boy starts talking you up, you think he's The Best One Yet (The Boy) and you Just Can't Get Enough.

Finally, as your night ends and you drive home into the dawn, your heart feels elated and content, so whatever it is you hear in your heart, you Play It Loud.

It's ironic how the earlier bit of the CD wasn't outstanding when the album is called The Beginning, but I suppose things work out in the end.

the jaydeefied story so far.

2010-12-13T09:04:00.000-08:00

Writing "about me" pieces have always been difficult. Not only does it make me feel more self-absorbed than I know I already am, it always makes me wonder how others perceive me compared to how I see myself.

But I'll try writing this one anyway.

For starters, I think I should let you know that I actually loooooveeee to blog - I started "jaydeefied" in 2006, changed it when I decided I hated my immature self, got another one and then changed it again when I won Flydol. What you are staring at right now is Living in a Cloud v3.0.

In total, this is the third jaydeefied "about me" post and despite the practice from the other two, evidently I haven't gotten any better at it.

So let's get back to me - the true narcissist in disguise; the walking paradox; the girl you sometimes wish would just shut the hell up. I am Jay Dee and this is the story of my life (so far):

I am the eldest of two children. My younger sister is a monster named Jay Zee and I still don't understand why and how everyone is fascinated with that.

That's me on the right, and Jay Zee on the left.

When I was a child I was obsessed with perforated paper, cutting stuff up and plaster of paris. I thought I was going to be an artist (didn't happen). At some point I was convinced I would be a singer one day (will never happen).

At my grandma's house on my 8th birthday.

This is the jaydeefied mommy..

...and this is the jaydeefied daddy!

Being a tween was the age of boybands (N*SYNC!!!) and books. I hated books when I was really young and I think that made my mother think I was going to be stupid. Later I found out that it was just cause they kept trying to make me read Enid Blyton. (I would never recommend her to anyone. Her writing is mad dull. Children should only ever read Roald Dahl and Dr Seuss and Lewis Carol.)

That was also when I was introduced to the magical world of radio and newspaper publishing.

Click to enlarge.

When I was a teenager, the sarcasm kicked in and everyone (even my now best friend Ching) was an absolute pain. then came the beginning of working like a mule, playing for drumline and going on adventures.

And, after years of scooping ice-cream, writing pieces I have no interest in, making coffee for other people, washing dishes and cleaning grease-straps while desperately trying to get into law school, came Flydol.

As I am writing this [I actually wrote this a coupla weeks ago], I am sitting in a cafe by myself; skimming through the contract that I have read and reread several times.

The beginning of the rest of my life is merely a signature away, and I can't remember the last time I was this excited...

--------------

hi. my name is jay dee.

2010-12-01T07:27:00.000-08:00

but you can call me "the procrastinator".